Today, a kid broke down into tears over the grade their Romeo and Juliet essay earned. They held back behind everyone else after the bell rang, approached my rickety podium at the front of the room, and tried so hard to compose themselves to ask for advice/a re-do/anything to get that middling C out of their life.
“Are you…crying about the grade, or something else?”
“The grade,” the managed to eke out between sniffles.
And this is when I wish I had inherited my mom’s comforting nature. Mom always knew (still knows) the right thing to say to soothe an emotional breakdown.
Instead, I’ve got my dad’s bumbling, emotionally stunted goofball vibe that, so far, has a zero success rate of calming any nerves or alleviating the stress of anybody at all.
“Hey, it’s ok!” I manage. “Really! We’ll revise it. We’ll keep working on it until you’ve got the grade you want. Do you want to stay after school today or tomorrow?”
Maybe not the most maternal, comforting words I could manage at the moment, but I could’ve done worse. I’ve heard worse from colleagues.
It’s not the first time my work has brought a kid to tears. The yearbook I used to advise was a virtual cry factory: the stress of deadlines and sobering realizations of one’s personal shortcomings routinely brought out the waterworks. I can’t say I was much better at making those girls feel any better, either. Tears just always showed up in March.
But it’s tough. I don’t want to be the reason children cry! Grow, learn, discover: yes! And all those good things require some stress, some painful reckonings, some healthy confrontations with obstacles. But tears? Full-on crying in the classroom because of I grade I assigned? That’s tough to handle.
People can talk about a “growth mindset” all they want. Great. But nobody likes to be told “you’re not good enough,” and that’s precisely what a C means to a lot of kids. This kid will grow. They’ll emerge from this experience a stronger, more confident writer, because I’m not terrible at my job. I’m not great yet, but I can help this kid. I just wish I didn’t have to see them cry in the process.
Sonny Is a Teacher 